There Are People On My Computer!

The world is in a state of worryingness... more so than recently in the last few years (well maybe not Y2K, but that movie sucked). I decided to (proverbially) hit the streets (of the internet super highway) and ask the people (on my computer) what has them the most worried.

Number 5:

-World War III-

People are worried about another world war. "Are we gonna get nuked?", "Is the middle east gonna get nuked?", "If we have another world war are game makers going to make about fifty games about it a year?" The answer to these questions is no, probably and yes (not in that order). People just need to quit worrying, who cares if there is another war, it's not like it can affect are money spending style of life in America.

Number 4:

-The Apocalypse-

A lot of (Christian) people are worried that these could be the end of times. In revelations it mentions steel birds, many are saying these are planes (without snakes), but I say why couldn't they be spaceships? Why couldn't the steel bird mentioned in the bible be the U.S.S. Enterprise (sucks to be you Picard)? Also, people mention holy wars, almost all wars are holy wars. The war in the middle east is because Muslims hate Jews, WWII was about fascists hating Jews, the Cold War was about Soviets hating Jews, there have always been Holy wars... and there always will be.

Number 3:

-Global Warming-

Al Gore has apparently given us the inconvenient truth of knowing that pretty soon we'll be in a reenactment of Water World. More like... not... just because some ice caps are melting doesn't mean we'll have to cozy up to Jake Gyllenhaal for warmth. Waters would rise 15-20 feet. All I can say is, sucks to be you people on the coast. I do have a solution to this though (that I got from cartoons), dump a giant ice cube in the Arctic once a year, and we should be fine. The real thing we need to worry about is Al Gore.

Number 2:

-Energy Crisis-

Some people say we have a time crisis with energy, please, this is so old it might as well be a dino crisis. We've always been using oil, if we need more just drill more. Anyone who passed sixth grade science knows that the core of the earth is made out of pure petrol. Anyways we're getting so close to a breakthrough in new power sources we might as well already be using it. Pretty soon we'll be able to have hybrid cars, solar powered houses and a new breakthrough just discovered: walking.

Number 1:

-People On Your Computer-

People are still worried about people getting on your computer, and doing the things associated with that (stealing your files, changing your Myspace layout, ordering 4,000 copies of "From Justin to Kelly" from Amazon), and apparently from these commercials I've been seeing on the television set, people are even more worried that these people might be dead. Trust me, dead people can only kill you, so if they get on your computer... what are they gonna do anyways?

The thing we really need to worry about, is inevitable zombie attack, that is about to happen, in our own backyards.