This Just In!

This just in:

Democrats support and supposedly help the poor people, but don't support Wal-mart. Apparently Wal-mart's low low prices (always) are terrorist fascist prices (that kill billions). Upon this verdict the democratic party decided to start a war on Wal-mart and it's supporters, who the democratic party support, ending in the genocide of the entire party.

Conservatives across the nation have decided that the MPAA is just not cutting it in rating movies. Now a new group the CRA (Conservative Ratings Association) will rate movies based on three criteria: 1) How many times the f-word is said, 2) If there is any homosexual tendencies among characters, and 3) If witchcraft is used. Many films are being rerated, such as Sin City and the James Bond series (which are recieving CR-7, meaning acceptable for 7 or older), and the Harry Potter series and Garden State (which are recieveing CR-X, not suitable for anyone).

A liberal based opinion website (that is giving away free* items to anyone that votes) has put a popup poll asking if people like president Bush. The company wanting Bush to clearly win added a flattering picture of Bush to the popup:



Republicans have started a war on Dan Brown and his controversial book "The Da Vinci Code", trying to prove that it is not true. One anti-supporter was quoted saying, "The mere fact that the book says 'fiction' on the back and that at the end of the feature film says 'This movie is a work of fiction, any relation to real people or events is merely coincidental' is not enough to prove the story is fiction."

Also, this just in: here is a list of things that suck:

Gay people, blue collar comedy tour, Star Wars, Jews, alcohol and drugs, anti-war supporters, hemis, Grey's Anatomy, hardcore music, and women's rights.

The only two things that don't suck:

Planes and snakes.

(p.s. I copied this from my myspace. I promise it will be the only double dipping I do!)

(p.p.s. I'm not serious, I don't believe in all of the stuff I just said above.)