Has Been Corrected's First Annual Halloween Blowout Extravaganza!

When I think of Halloween I always think of candy and girls dressed up in ways that any other time of the year would make their parents very angry, but right now they are okay with it because they are a "witch". If that "witch" catered to certain carnal services of warlocks maybe...

Basically Halloween is an excuse for little kids to eat candy and girls 13+ to dress like whores.

But it's all cool.

Nowadays I like to just give out the candy to the kids, sometimes I dress up, because while getting and wearing a costume is okay for Halloween, going out and trick or treating as a teenager is A) suspicious because everyone thinks you're about to fork their yard; or throw eggs at their house; or murder someone; or take all their candy, pick out the Jolly Ranchers, take them out of the rapper, lick them, stick them onto their window then run off while littering because you left the wrapper on the ground. And B) because it's really awkward standing there dressed-up saying "trick or treat!" with a bunch of little kids behind you waiting their turn.

Next year though I'm dressing up like Jack from Jack in the Box, buying about fifty Jack in the Box tacos and giving those to the kids that come to our house. I'll also invite some friends over to help me eat all forty-seven left over tacos. Because inevitably maybe one kid will take a taco, I'll eat one coming home, and one will be lost (who knows where? Island in the South Pacific? Maybe.), and all the others won't get taken up because the kids don't want them or the parents think they have spicy cyanide in them. WHICH THEY DON'T!

I think I always dressed up as a superhero for Halloween, one year as the white ranger, one year as Batman... last year me and my friend made ourselves look like killers and just jumped out at little kids. My friend got hit in the giblets by a kid dressed up as Harry Potter.

Well, I think I've exhausted all I could talk about... so I'll leave you with a joke:

Q) What is a ghost's favorite meat?

A) Pastrami.