December 21, 2012, 11:11!

Has anyone read into that Mayan calendar stuff? Apparently some crazy shit is gonna happen on [date/time put as post header]. Most of it sounds like a retarded flute player -- like it wouldn't actually happen.

Here is what I get out of it:

On this date apparently a "baktun" will end (the thirteenth one), and apparently this is supposed to be good or something (I think I read something about salsa and chips). We're supposed to have a "re-birth". Now, some people think this is the end of the world. Well apparently, no and yes. It's the end of the "fourth world" on this date, and the "fifth world" will happen... now this will be the end of mankind... but that doesn't mean all the people will die. They'll just end.

Now... this is what I think would happen if this new world stuff is true:

On that day, all the Mayans will be sitting around waiting and then it will happen and we'll all go to a world without disease, taxes, war, Michael Moore, poverty, and all those other bad things.

OR:

The world will explode.

So, it's a win-lose situation... unless you're a Christian/Jew/Muslim/Scientologist/Buddhist/Hinduist/Other Religionist then you know that this crap won't happen because God/Great Rabbi of Death/Allah/Tom Cruise/Buddha/Brahman/Other God won't let it end that day, because the end of the world is supposed to be a surprise. Like a surprise party... it even says in Revelations that God will be wearing a red and blue party hat.

I think, I didn't read it, so I wouldn't know.

But anyways, most of this stuff sounds like school in July... impossible.

Also... interesting fact: the number of days between "baktun"s is 144,000, which is also the number of people apparently going to Heaven in the beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hmmm....?

This post brought to you by the letter "W".