GrindXCore!

Yesterday I saw Grindhouse, the Tarantino/Rodiriguez double feature.

Now this is an odd duck to review, and the way I'm going to do it is, give a review of each of the two movies, then give a review of the fake trailers, then average the trailer scores into one score, then average that score into the score of the two movies to find out what the overall score is.

Sure.

Grindhouse!:

Planet Terror!:

Starring Freddy Rodriguez, Bruce Willis, Rose McGowan, Naveen Andrews, and bunch of other really hot girls, this is Robert Rodriguez's segment. It is a zombie movie, and basically the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, in a good way. Its full of action and doesn't really let up from the begining. Everything you would expect from something like this, definently nothing really to say but really awesome.

****9*****

Death Proof!:

Starring Kurt Russel, Rosario Dawson and a bunch of other really annoying girls, this is Quentin Tarantino's segement. It's about a pyschotic stunt man who likes to torment beautiful girls. While usually I'd rather watch a Tarantino movie than a Rodriguez movie (I'll take Pulp Fiction over Spy Kids any day of the week), this movie is definently the weak point of the double-feature. It's just like most of Tarantino's other movies: full of pop culture references, really good camera work, the normal mix for him (Two thirds dialogue, one third extreme action). But something is missing... you noticed how I didn't say "Two thirds witty funny and interestingdialogue"? That's because the dialogue in Death Proof is not witty funny or interesting. Most of the time it's annoying, and really makes you angry when you get to the awesome chase scene and ask "Why couldn't the whole movie be like this?" While the action in this was awesome and brutal (and the end did give a very good end to the entire double-feature as a whole), the dialogue is slow tedious and quite literally leads to nowhere (they even build up a group of people for forty-minutes, then have them killed of in about two seconds, and then have another half hour building up another group of friends).

***6***

Trailers:

(NOTE: I'm giving a score on a different basis then movies, I give out higher scores here then I normally do). There were four trailers: Machete, which was directed by Robert Rodriguez, involves a mexican immigrant being hired to assinate man and being doulbe crossed. Very very funny (10). The second one was Werewolf Women of the SS, directed by Rob Zombie. It involves a bunch of Werewolfs and Nazis or something like that. It was kind of the odd duck of the trailers, but still good, and awesome just becuase of the very random two seconds of Nicolas Cage (7). The third was Don't, directed by Edgar Wright. Its a British haunted house movie. You can tell it was spoofing British horror movies (especially with no dialogue, as if to trick the audience into not thinking the people were British). Pretty funny and random, and also has Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, which is a plus (9). The final one was Thanksgiving, which was directed by Eli Roth. It's about a killer doing his thing around the Thanksgiving holiday. Possibly the funniest one, just because of how wrong it is, I don't want to give the sick things away, but it's really messed up (10). Overall I think that gives the trailers a:

****9*****

And I think that brings the overall thing to:

****8****

Just remember to prepare yourself before this monster of a movie (it's over three hours long). Make sure you go the bathroom, bring refreshments (not water, things like Coca-Cola that take a whiel to go through your system). Also make sure you have a good plan for sneaking in if you are under 17 (unless of course you go to my theater, where everyone who works there is retarded).

I'm tired now.